Saturday, 25 November 2017

Why I’d last about a day in a zombie apocalypse (thanks, kids).

Let’s get one thing straight. I would be AWESOME in a zombie apocalypse. Fact. However my kids would suck in one and thus, I’d be lucky to last out the week. Let’s look at some of the key requirements of surviving one and I’ll explain why…

Staying hidden
Now, I’d be pretty good at hiding. I’d make sure I was properly concealed. I’d maybe read a book, catch up on a bit of sleep etc. My Kids? They are crap at it. See the below examples for evidence.




Keeping Quiet
Again, I’d nail this. However, my dear children are utterly incapable of keeping quiet for longer than 3 seconds. Once, I thought they’d achieved a full minute of silence but it was because I’d left some of my chocolate out.

Obtaining supplies
Now, I reckon I could stealthily do a quick scour of the local shops, rummage through a few neighbourhood cupboards and be back in no time. However, my kids would a) have to be told 4356 times to put their shoes on b) one or both of them will have lost their coat c) they would cause all manner of havoc because we were going shopping and not to soft play d) they would do that thing where they go all rigid like a plank so you can’t strap them into their car seat.

Surviving on rations                                                             
Let’s face it. Unless we had an endless supply of cheesy puffs we’d be screwed. Plus all the other things they like eating, such as bananas and cheese, are perishable. Look at the infographic from Data Label below which states just how long food would last in this type of situation. The bright side is, is if we survive 5 years plus we can still all enjoy a custard cream.

Avoiding zombies
The simple fact of the matter is, whereas I would avoid zombies at all costs, my children would make it their life mission to touch one, simply because I’d told them not to. And if I employed reverse psychology and told them to touch one, they would still touch one. DEAD.

So there you have it. 5 reasons my kids will be the death of me come the zombie apocalypse.  


But don’t forget, I would be awesome in one.


*Data Label provided this infographic

3 Little Buttons
Me, Being Mummy
Hot Pink Wellingtons

10 comments:

  1. Haha love the pics no of the attempted hiding. 😀

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  2. Haha yep you're right it would be hard work with the kids lol. I think my daughter would be the same too

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  3. This is super funny and yet so true as it applies to my kids as well...so as parents, lets hope a zombie apocalypse does not happen

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  4. This is hilarious and devastating: I am doomed too... :( #MMBC

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  5. Ha! I love the little feet poking out from under the curtains!! This is hilarious, I'll keep everything crossed that we don't get attacked!! Thanks for linking this to #DreamTeam!

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  6. Hahaha! This is brilliant - and so true. All us parents would be screwed. If it ever happens, may as well stick the kettle on, pop on a Disney film and embrace the impending doom #dreamteam

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    1. Errr no idea why it's saying I'm L.M... apologies, it's Muffin top over here!

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  7. Those hiding pics had me laugh out loud! :) #dreamteam xoxo

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  8. Ha Ha! I love the hiding photos. My youngest does this, but actually thinks we can't see her! I would struggle with the food rations too. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

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  9. This random thought has often occurred to me too as I'm urging my 3 year old to be quiet - he's physically incapable of it! He's similarly useless at hiding, and on the rare occasion he does manage to hide well, he gives himself away by the noise - we'd be discovered in about 5 seconds! Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

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