Monday, 19 March 2018

Why I'll Always Be Two Steps Behind

To my littlest boy,
Tomorrow you are two. I’ve been thinking about this fact a lot the last couple of days because truth be told, I’ve not quite wrapped my head around the fact you are one and have been for a whole year. Since you arrived it feels like the laws of time have shifted. Sometimes I go to pick you up expecting a baby and there’s a toddler in my arms, I fetch you a toy from the toy box and realise that developmentally, you’ve outgrown it. And sometimes I hear a little one talking, proper words, sentences even, and I catch my breath realising that it’s you. This began the very moment we met, when my hour-old baby was suddenly two days old, my two-week old suddenly a month old. I was aware of it every-time I tried to put you in a baby grow that you’d suddenly grown out of, every-time you hit a milestone; clapping, crawling, walking, running, jumping… time runs away and it feels like I’m always a few paces behind. But this feeling, this simmering panic that my baby is passing me by, has taught me to slow down. It has taught me that time is so very, very precious. That if you want a cuddle, or to read a book, or to show me a car out the window, then nothing, no household chore, no outstanding email, no pressing work enquiry will ever, ever triumph over that. Over you. My beautiful boy. By the rules of this new law of time, you may well be sixteen ‘next week’ but today you are still one. And so this evening, as I tuck you in to bed, as brief as I know this will be, I think I’ve caught up.

Happy birthday Squish.     


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20 comments

  1. Aww well written and so lovely.
    I cried when A turned 1 and I'm sure I'll be even worse when he's 18 months let alone 2 :( #stopgrowingsofast

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  2. Time definitely speeds up with kids,hope your son has a happy birthday. #twinklytuesday

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  3. Beautiful - these moments have to be savoured as otherwise it all just slips by. Have a wonderful time celebrating together, and thank you for linking to #coolmumclub

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  4. Oh this is so lovely. The time does fly by so quickly doesn't it? Happy birthday to your little one and thank you for sharing this with us at #DreamTeam x

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  5. Beautiful. The time really does go by quickly and you have to soak them up as much as you can. I hope he had a wonderful time. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

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  6. This is beautiful. It's so hard to put into words that feeling that it's all passing by so quickly and wanting to soak up every moment, but you've got it spot on here. I think any parent would relate to every word. I hope he had a wonderful birthday! Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

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  7. So beautiful. My youngest is 2 is a couple of months and in some ways he is still such a baby but in others he is so grown up #sharingthebloglove

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  8. Awww you have a Christmas baby! 2 is a huge age, I remember it so well and have the best memories. Enjoy every second. Beautiful letter. Thank you for joining us for the #DreamTeam xx

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  9. This is so lovely, my son turns two in a couple of months and I feel like he's only just turned one! #sharingthebloglove

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  10. Awww, this is a lovely letter. happy birthday little one. Sarah #sharingthebloglove

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  11. Really lovely letter I too have a problem adjusting to the fact my girls get older! #SharingTheBlogLove

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  12. Awwww this is so lovely. Time really does fly by doesn't it. My 'baby' will be starting school in September and I am soooo not ready for that. #Itsok

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  13. it's bonkers how quickly time flies by when they're little isn't it. Great post #itsok xxx

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  14. That’s a great way to think of it. Cherish the time you have with them. And Happy BDay little man.

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  15. What a lovely letter to your little boy. Time is just flying past these days, I can't believe I will soon have a 5 year old who has completed his first year at school, and a 3 year old who I'm sure was only born a minute ago! x #itsok

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  16. Aww such a lovely letter! #itsok

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  17. Treasure every moments as they grow so quickly #itsok

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  18. Ah that is so beautiful, I hate this law of time, Freddie is now 8 9 at the end of the year. I have no idea where all this time went. #itsok

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  19. Perfect 💖 You're so right about it all, and it's lovely that you're taking time to stop and pay attention to all the little things your son does and says. xx
    #itsok

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  20. Very Happy Birthday to your little man, and time does simply fly. Enjoy every minute, if you can. #itsok xoxo

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