Have We Forgotten How To Be Kind?


Imagine this: Last night you went out for a meal. The service was slow, the place lacked atmosphere and the meal was average at best. Now imagine the next day you spot the owner of the restaurant in town. What would you do? Would you then approach them and tell them what a shocking meal you had, how the service had been appalling and how you’d never recommend them to your friends and family? Perhaps you’d go a bit further and tell them that their food is disgusting, that you wouldn’t feed it to your dog? OR… would you perhaps nod or smile politely, whilst silently vowing to give their restaurant a miss next time? I think and I hope I’m not mistaken, that the vast majority of us would choose the latter. But now imagine the same scenario, only this time, instead of bumping in to the owner, you’re now home, sat behind a computer screen, browsing their website or social media channels. This is where the lines now start to blur. Suddenly it can seem ok to be a bit more direct with them; you’re doing other people a service surely, by letting your thoughts be known, thus preventing them from having the same experience? Or are you? Pre-internet, we’d tell our friends and family about our experience and they would perhaps tell theirs too. The business in question could lose a handful of customers as a result of your lack of recommendation. But in this day, due to the power of social media, a bad review could reach thousands of people, can be left permanently for all to view and thus can be crippling for a small business. Due to the rise of social media, the accessibility of both people and businesses and perhaps the fact that we can hide faceless, even nameless behind our computer screens, for some social etiquette, politeness and tact are left behind. Forget constructive criticism, this can sometimes go even beyond honesty and take a very unsavoury path into internet bullying. Sadly, it’s a trend that doesn’t seem to be easing off any time soon. But for those that don’t intend to be trolling or bullying, the ones that are just speaking ‘the truth’, their words, if left uncensored, can still have an effect. For the restaurant owner, a private rather than public message from the customer listing their concerns, complaints and suggestions will give them the opportunity to explain, apologise for and rectify the situation and for that opportunity over a public denouncement, they will be entirely grateful.

Yes, you shouldn’t have to pay for a meal that was unsatisfactory and inadequate, but for the restaurant owner, who for example, had found themselves not only suddenly short-staffed but unexpectedly busy and has now been ‘internet-shamed’, it seems for them, the scales have well and truly tipped.



Motherhood The Real Deal

9 comments

  1. I tend to agree that people "let loose" a lot more on social media than in real life. However I also think that social media makes it easier to let the business know you had a bad experience without sharing it with everyone in the online world.

    Often people forget that you can have a bad day in business - just like you can in your day to day life. Maybe take a minute and send an actual message to the business through their Twitter DMs or FB messages. By letting a business know what was less than stellar, it gives them the opportunity to use your experience to better themselves and/or their business. Just avoid "sharing" it in a negative way publicly so it blows up in everyone's face!
    ~Jess
    #MMBC

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  2. I am oftened saddened and shamed by the brutality that the internet brings out. I do think constructive criticism can be helpful but some people seem to travel the net looking for a place to attack. #MMBC

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  3. It's always the same, people are too happy to complain, more so than they are to compliment, particularly online. If the table was turned and the food and service was great, how many would go online and say so? People just can't be bothered. We definitely have forgotten to be kind. That's why I don't write bad reviews on my blog. If I don't like the product I've been sent I tell them and work something out. I don't rush to my blog and say how awful it was. Constructive criticism has it's place but some of the bad reviews I've read are pure sour grapes! #MMBC

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  4. The thing is, that if meal and the experience was good - not overly outstanding or brilliant, just good, people would not do the same. Whilst at the slightest mishap they tend to go online shaming tours - I often see this on twitter. #dreamteam

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  5. This is certainly a thought provoking post. Sadly I believe it is true that negativity could lead to the ruining of some small businesses. #mmbc

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  6. I completely agree with you here. It seems as though there is one rule of conduct for face to face encounters and a different set of (or lack of) rules once a person is sat at a keyboard. I often see businesses respond to negative comments by asking why the person hadn't brought the issue to their attention at the time so that it might have been resolved? I think it's a really valid point and personally if I have an issue with a business I'd prefer to raise it with them privately and directly. I've been on the receiving end of unpleasant comments from anonymous keyboard warriors and I know how awful it can feel to an individual, let alone to a person who's livelihood depends on their business. Thanks so much for sharing this with #DreamTeam x

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  7. I totally agree with you, I have in the past sent a private message, I would never put it out in public.i find internet trolling a really scary prospect for the future a head, I hope some laws can be put in place for it xx #coolmumclub

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  8. This is a really good post - it's so easy to fire off a scathing statement online where information can spread like wildfire and there is often no way to defend yourself if you are the subject of it. Pause for thought indeed #coolmumclub x

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  9. I agree people feel safe behind their screens and can really let rip in a way they wouldn't do face to face and I think it has made people appear far less tolerant sadly. More kindness needed all round I say! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub with this xx

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