Monday, 17 April 2017

I'm Sorry, Little One

To my littlest boy, 

You know Mummy always feels guilty about everything, right? Well, this one keeps me awake sometimes. I want to explain something to you. When your big brother was born, Mummy and Daddy’s focus shifted. He became the centre of our entire world. Everything in the world revolved around him. This tiny precious, scrawny, beautiful little thing was suddenly the brightest, loudest, most glorious soul in the world. My days were spent properly indulging in him. I watched his every movement, I knew him inside out. I could distinguish between a bored cry, a hungry cry, a pained cry. I got to know all the little things about him like the glint he got (and still gets) in his eye when he was up to no good, the cute little squeaks he made when he was concentrating and the exact position he had to be held in to be rocked to sleep. When you arrived my sweet, he was still in the centre of my world but now so were you. And he was, at this point, a busy three year-old boy who wanted me to look after him and entertain him. He didn’t get knocked from this prime position, nor did he suddenly take second place; you both had to share it. So I hope you’ll forgive me but I never got to indulge in you in quite the same way. When pregnant with you, I wasn’t able to lie on the sofa for hours, watching TV, feeling every wiggle and kick. Nor when you arrived could I spend ages staring at you, trying to make you smile. It’s true, you’ve had to share the limelight but I want you to know that you shine just as brightly as your brother. It may have taken me longer to get to know you, I may still be learning, but I promise you, you’ll always be and always have been just as glorious as your brother.

Mummy x 


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9 comments:

  1. Beautiful post! It is the plight of younger siblings to never have the spotlight to themselves, but there's more than enough mummy love to go around. Your baby will know <3
    #HoneybeeLinky

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  2. I think this sums up every mothers thoughts on second children, certainly it does mine. #HoneybeeLinky

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  3. Ahh, this is so beautiful. I feel the same with my baby, George. He is the youngest at 6 months and Teddy is his older brother at 2.5yrs. It is so hard to share myself between them and am always worried about it. But then I remember that the very point is I care enough about each of them to worry about it so that's got to mean something.lol! Thanks for linking up with the #HoneybeeLinky, I hope you can join in again next week :) xxx

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  4. I've felt this same thing. As they grow though, they are so lucky to have each other... even through the bickering and sibling rivalry. You did a good thing for them. #DreamTeam

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  5. Having a child second time around is very different. But it is also really special, as I was a different mum, a more confident mum and I think my youngest got the best of me. And now with my eldest at school its our time to have fun just the 2 of us and she is at such a fun age to do this. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

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  6. Oh gosh, this couldn't be more spot on for me right now. My second little boy is nearly 4 months and it's just whizzing by. I realised the other day I've not written in his baby book since the first month, whereas I was religious about his brother's. I have two days when it's just the two of us, when his brother is at preschool, and I relish those, but I feel guilty that he doesn't get more of that time. But on the other hand, he gets to experience a more laid back mum, and have the love of a big brother, so hopefully it all balances out! THanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

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  7. This post speaks a truth that sits with most mums. You've put it so well. If it helps your guilt at all, my daughter - the second child - is getting the limelight now as her older brother has moved to London and she is just round the corner. We have our girly evenings together regularly and we both cherish them. x #SharingtheBlogLove

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  8. I think I'm constantly plate spinning with my girls and the attention yoyo's constantly. #SharingtheBlogLove

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