The Ten Truths of Parenting

1) You will at some point find yourself trying to work out which Cbeebies presenter you fancy the most. Even if you don’t particularly fancy one, you will make yourself pick one.
2) You’d rather stick a pen in your eye than have to peel off and pass your child stickers for the best part of an hour.
3) Bing can do one.
4) And Flop. Why is he so calm in the face of his giant toddler who could pick him up and flush him down the toilet at any moment? Or put him in the tumble dryer which would make him shrink as he is made out of wool.
5) At some point, while being car-bound due to a sleeping baby or because the thought of putting up the pram and unloading the kids again fills you with dread, you will have invented (in your head) the drive-through convenience store and been pretty chuffed with yourself.
6) Whenever your children eat Cheerios for breakfast you will, without doubt, later find yourself peeling one off your sock.
socks cheerios
7) You’ll find yourself frequently wondering why they don’t just bloody attach the phone to the Vtech Walker.
8) You will instantly regret pointing out an interesting thing to your child whilst travelling in a car as they will invariably miss it and then you will spend the rest of the journey explaining that they’ve now missed it, that the cute bunny rabbit is now 8 miles away and will have surely hopped away by now and that no, you can’t turn back so that they can see it.
9) Whenever you read The Tiger that Came to Tea you’ll decide that should a tiger ever come to tea at your house and subsequently rob you of all your provisions, like hell will you buy it a vat of tiger food in preparation for it’s next visit. Shotgun anyone? 
10) You can buy baby socks until they come out of your ears, but the vast majority of them will live out their days as odd socks. True dat.
socks washing


  1. I normally find about ten cheerios stuck in our dog's fur.


    1. haha, my son had one in his hair yesterday too! x

  2. I'm defiantly with you on bloddy flop and bing!! #dreamteam 😅

  3. I had to Google Flop and Bing ...!

  4. Ha ha...I actually love a bit of Bing!
    My thoghts on the tiger that came to tea is that the Mum is pure genius - made the whole thing up because she wanted Dad to take them all out to the pub for dinner. She's my hero.
    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub!x

  5. Haha love these! The pointing out things in the car to kids is so true. My daughter is 6 and it's such hard work trying to point out even the most obvious things! #ThatFridayLinky

  6. Yes to the cheerios, except in our house, it's Weetos! Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLInky

  7. Oh flop annoys the hell out of me great post Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

  8. Hahahaha!!! I think you've been in my house every day for the last year watching me...?! I've actually peeled off and handed stickers to my children for most of the day, every day for the last few days... it's DESTROYING MY SOUL! I can't wait till they can do it themselves! I can also NEVER point out anything of interest from the car window-the screams of 'go back go back go back' for the entire journey, are just too much. I also think my entire downstairs floor is now more cheerio crumbs than wood...! You've hit the nail on the head!!
    #bigpinklink xx

    1. Haha I feel your pain!! I think I'd have second thoughts about pointing out a pink three headed dinosaur these days because they WOULD miss it and I'd never hear the end of it!!! x